No Regrets
by GriefSyndrome
Summary: Sayaka is devastated over what's happened to her body in the process of becoming a magical girl. She's losing Kyousuke to Hitomi, and everything feels wrong at this point. Madoka wants nothing more than for her friend to be alright, and though she is at a loss, she does what she can. Contains Madosaya (interesting to write for) and some nsfw.
1. Chapter 1

_(Disclaimer: This fandom is antsy over ships. I do need to state that I don't technically ship Madosaya, so as a result this was challenging and interesting to write, as I had to take extra steps to justify their interactions. Even if you don't ship it, take it for what it is.)_

"Why are you so nice…" Sayaka Miki was standing outside her apartment, head down, bangs hiding her eyes. Her fist was clenched, shaking slightly, trying to get a handle on the emotions that were coursing through her. "I don't deserve such kindness…"

"Huh?" Madoka Kaname was a bit taken aback. She could've understood a simple "Yes" or "No" to her request to come along on the witch hunt, but something with Sayaka seemed critically wrong.

"I had a moment today where I almost regretted something… I thought…" A few tears began to spot the ground at Sayaka's face.. "I thought, maybe it would've been better if I hadn't saved Hitomi." The tears were flowing now as her voice cracked. "I completely fail at being an ally of justice." Madoka immediately moved in to comfort her with an embrace. "I'm going to lose Kyousuke to Hitomi, and there's nothing I can do!" Sayaka sobbed into her shoulder. "He could never love me with a body like this! I'm already dead!"

Madoka gently began to caress Sayaka's back, trying as she could to console her. She felt tears coming to her own eyes, out of nothing more than an overwhelming sense of empathy. "Please don't cry, Sayaka…" she whimpered. Her hand brushed through Sayaka's hair. "It's going to be alright…"

Sayaka's sobs gradually came to an end. She held the embrace a few seconds longer before stepping back, wiping her eye. "I'm fine now… Thanks," she said with a fake smile.

Then, suddenly Madoka stepped forward, leaning in and kissing Sayaka gently on the lips. Sayaka was totally taken aback. She blushed slightly. Madoka was blushing as well, "Are you feeling better?"

Sayaka hesitated before coming to her senses. She shook her head. "What the heck was that for!?" she retorted.

"Sorry…" Madoka began. She suddenly felt very small. Why did she do that? It was bad enough she had almost gotten Sayaka killed… Now she had the audacity to play with her heart. Why am I such a terrible person.

"I-I mean, at least let me get ready first…" Sayaka crossed her arms and looked off to the side. "You're lucky you're cute."

"Sayaka-chan, I'm so sorry… I don't know-" Sayaka cut her off. "It's fine, just… Ugh." The hero of justice turned around and put her hands behind her head. After some contemplation, she turned her head to Madoka. "I know you want to come… And I know you're worried about me, but… Would you mind if I went alone tonight? I want to think some things through…"

Madoka looked at her shoes. "I understand…"

"How about this… Since we don't have school tomorrow, how about I just meet at your house when I'm done? We can have a sleepover, just like old times." Sayaka turned in full and tried to give a reassuring smile to her friend. It seemed to work, as Madoka's mouth curled into a small, cautious smile.

"Alright… Just," she stepped forward to hug Sayaka again, "please come back… Please be careful."

Sayaka lowered her arms slowly and embraced her friend tightly. She tucked her head down a little to kiss Madoka's head. "Don't worry, I will. I promise."

* * *

Sayaka was at Madoka's doorstep before 9. Madoka promptly greeted her friend, as the two moved to the couch in the living room with some hot cocoa.

"That was quick," Madoka commented. "How many witches did you find?"

"None." Sayaka took a drink of her cocoa. "I guess that's a plus, for the city of Mitahikara…" She took out her soul gem, examining it. There was some clouding, worsened by her grieving. At least the gem was in a tolerable state. "Good thing I don't need a grief seed right now."

"Yeah…" Madoka said with a shudder.

Sayaka changed the subject. "Earlier this night… You…" her voice trailed off. "What was that about?"

"I'm sorry, Sayaka… I'm so sorry for that…" Madoka began, the sense of defeat returning to her voice.

"Don't apologize, I just want to know why," Sayaka pressed.

"I care about you, Sayaka… You've always tried so hard to do what's best for everyone." Madoka shifted in her seat. "To be honest I'm not sure what came over me… I thought it just might be worth a try, take the risk… I feel so helpless around you now." She pulled in her legs and rested her chin on her knees. "I know I'm being selfish…"

Sayaka felt a little softened by Madoka's words. She swirled her cocoa around in her cup. "Well, you're lucky you're cute," she said, slightly dismissive. Oddly it brought Madoka's mind to ease a bit more, making the issue feel a little less weighty. "Kyouko's not bothering me anymore, and with the lack of witches tonight, I was able to do a lot of thinking… If I hadn't saved Hitomi, wouldn't I still have regrets? Wouldn't they be worse than what I felt today?"

She set her cocoa on the coffee table and crossed her legs. "Did I really make my wish because I wanted Kyousuke to have a better life, or did I make the wish because I wanted him to love me?" She leaned back, staring at the ceiling. "I cannot have any regrets. I didn't wish for Kyousuke's affection. I don't even know if he has any feelings for me at this point. But, if my wish made someone's life better, then that needs to be enough for me." She sighed. "Sometimes life will deal you a bad hand. That's what I got, I guess. Or took on, when I became a Magical Girl."

"Would you have changed your wish if you could go back?" Madoka asked.

Sayaka shook her head. "I don't have any regrets about the wish. I can accept if I had some ulterior motives back then, but when I made the wish, I made sure it was as selfless as possible, ulterior motives or not. Reflecting back, that was definitely the right choice." She turned her head to Madoka with a smile, betraying the sorrow in her blue eyes. "I might be a screw up, but I got it right where it mattered the most."

Madoka placed her hand on Sayaka's shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. "That's very sweet of you, Sayaka-chan. I'm proud of you."

Sayaka reached over and brushed Madoka's bangs from her eyes. "Did you want to try again, by the way? Now that I'm ready?"

Madoka stared for a moment, then suddenly recalled her kissing Sayaka earlier and blushed. "But-I-..." she stammered.

God she's cute. "How long've you felt that way, Madoka?" Sayaka asked, a slight hint of teasing to her voice.

"A year or so…" Madoka murmured. "You've always been there for me… I just didn't want to make things awkward between us or come between you and Kyousuke, so I tried to dismiss the thoughts."

"Well, considering circumstances, neither of those things are an issue anymore." Sayaka shrugged. "Plus who knows, tomorrow I might be eaten by a witch! No harm in trying something before that happens."

"Sayaka, don't say such things!" Madoka flung her fists at Sayaka in a few play-punches. "You're not gonna be eaten by a witch!"

Sayaka defended herself from the flurry of fists as she pounced at Madoka. "Right! The hero of justice will never be defeated!" She grabbed Madoka and squeezed her tightly. "And if you're ever in trouble, I'll come riding in and save you, my princess!"

Madoka giggled. "Sayaka, stop!" she exclaimed, pretending to struggle to get Sayaka off. Their wrestling and struggling soon died down. Madoka was still in Sayaka's grip, but their eyes met as warm smiles were exchanged.

"Gosh you're cute. Does anyone ever tell you that?" Sayaka commented. Madoka blushed, but couldn't move her hands up to cover her face, as she was restrained by Sayaka.

So, instead, she leaned forward to touch Sayaka's nose with her own. They nuzzled, then tilted their heads to kiss each other on the lips tenderly.

Sayaka's soul gem sat on the coffee table. It its blue tones radiated, dispersing some of the dark swirls that once clouded it.


	2. Chapter 2

_(Note: this chapter has been truncated as it originally was a little too NSFW for 's standards. It's still risque but is no longer totally explicit. If you want the original version, you can find it from my Tumblr, linked in my profile.)_

* * *

Madoka stirred in her sleep. Sayaka's arms were around her chest. It was the middle of the night at Madoka's home.

A few days had passed since the incident between Madoka and Sayaka. Homura Akemi and Kyouko Sakura soon found out. The red-head thought it was cute. Homura, meanwhile, did not, but didn't bother to intervene. Madoka was happy, Sayaka wasn't going to become an issue any time soon, now. Sayaka even felt more obligated to take care of herself, resuming her consumption of grief seeds, just to ensure she would be around to keep Madoka safe. All this meant meant Homura and Kyouko could focus on Walpurgisnacht so that maybe they could all come out of this month alive, and Madoka wouldn't need to be drawn in any further. Practically speaking, this was an ideal situation.

Of course, all this was unknown to Madoka. "Sayaka-chan," she whispered. "I feel cold."

Sayaka stirred a little and sat up, yawning. Neither of their parents had noticed the increased number of sleepovers. "Well, I'm warm… Here." She unbuttoned her pajama shirt, catching Madoka off-guard. She wrapped it around Madoka like a little cloak and pulled her into a hug.

The action flustered Madoka, not exactly from sharing the shirt, but more from the fact that Sayaka didn't wear a bra when she slept, even during sleepovers. Yet, she was oddly nonchalant about that fact, and had no issue with hugging Madoka against her bare breasts. "Better?"

Madoka whimpered a "Mhm," yet continued to shake, just no longer from the cold. "Oh relax, they're just boobs!" Sayaka exclaimed. "You've got them too!"

Madoka looked down, pulling at the collar of her shirt. "I disagree," she responded flatly.

Sayaka chuckled, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend again. "I won't believe what you say until I've seen them myself." They embraced again, nuzzling. She wasn't being serious. While she was being daring by exposing herself to Madoka, she didn't want to pressure her.

Madoka soon pulled away. Sayaka stroked the side of her face gently as Madoka reached up to gently squeeze her hand. She soon guided Sayaka's hand down a little lower, to her chin, her shoulder, to the center of her chest. Sayaka began to blush while Madoka began to undo the buttons of her own shirt. "Well, I'll just have to prove it to you, then."

Her shirt soon hung open, barely covering her chest. Sayaka was a little stunned, but soon recovered, moving her hand beneath Madoka's shirt and pulling it open. Her hand brushed over Madoka's breast, rubbing across the nipple. "Wow, you are cold," Sayaka commented, the nipple firm against her palm. She opened the shirt further, exposing Madoka's small but perky breasts. "Looks like you've got em to me!"

"Heh…" Madoka began. "Maybe if I become a magical girl I should just wish for a better bust."

"Don't even joke about that," Sayaka reprimanded. "You're perfect as you are… Plus I don't want you putting yourself in harms way like that." She touched Madoka's face. "If it wasn't for you I would've given up long ago. Please… don't ever think of throwing that away. Even if you think it could help me-even if I die. Your life is precious to me."

Madoka was touched. She leaned into Sayaka's hand gently. "Alright…" She reached up to stroke Sayaka's cheek as well. "I promise."

The two drew each other in as they kissed, leaning at first, then sliding their bodies closer so they could embrace as well. Sayaka felt Madoka's pointed, perky nipples prod her own.

At least, she felt it the best she could. Her fighting style had seemed to deaden a lot of her senses. She had to confess that her sense of touch didn't feel as stimulating as it once was.

Still, she didn't let Madoka notice that. They cooed softly to one another, hands drawing lightly up and down each others' sides.

While Sayaka was resistant, Madoka was fidgety. Little caresses, rubs, strokes, kisses, fingers through her hair, all these actions brought forth pleased little twitching and squeaks from her. It was satisfying to see her move.

Madoka soon leaned back, falling to the bed once more as Sayaka climbed over top her. Sayaka lowered her head to Madoka's chest, listening to her heart. Madoka played with her hair some. "You're warm, Sayaka-chan." Sayaka smiled, then nuzzled one of Madoka's small breasts. Madoka bit her lip. "Go further…" she coaxed.

Sayaka leaned in to Madoka, nipping at her neck, pressing her body against her. Madoka murmured softly, digging her fingers into Sayaka's hair, tugging gently. As Sayaka teased more and more with her lips, she began to tug harder-yet neither of them noticed it. Madoka was too distracted, and Sayaka too desensitized.

Sayaka began to draw her hands up and down Madoka's sides, coaxing more reactions from her. Madoka attempted to reciprocate, drawing her fingers down Sayaka's back. Sayaka was scarcely reacting, focusing on pleasing Madoka. She seemed too...adamant? Something was wrong. She stopped. Sayaka didn't even seem to notice. "Sayaka?"

Sayaka stopped, sighing. Her tone seemed pained, and as she looked to Madoka her eyes were saddened. "I'm sorry Madoka…"

"For what? You're doing a wonderful job… I was just wondering if-" she was cut off. Sayaka knew what she was getting at.

"I know… It's frustrating. I don't…" She sat up. "I don't know if I feel anything anymore…"

Madoka's voice grew concerned. "W-what are you saying? Do you-"

Again, she was cut off, a little frantically this time. Sayaka sat up. "No-no, I don't mean like that! Of course I still love you… I mean physically feel, though…" She looked over to her soul gem on the dresser, reaching for it to examine it. "I guess that's the price of becoming a magical girl… Separate myself from my body so I can't feel pain…" she let the gem roll off her fingers, onto the mattress, as her arm went limp to her side, "or pleasure…"

"That's not fair!" Madoka nearly shouted, having to be shushed by Sayaka so they wouldn't wake Mr. and Mrs. Kaname. Madoka felt tears coming to her eyes. "That's not fair…" She picked up Sayaka's soul gem and stared at it.

"Hey, it's going to be alright, okay?" Sayaka smiled. "I'm still here. I can still think and have feelings for you."

"It's not right, though…" Madoka sniffed. "I don't want you to just feel for me… I want you to feel me as well. It's not fair…" Tears were running down her cheeks.

Sayaka sighed, looking down. "I know…" She could feel the beginnings of tears in her own eyes.

Madoka pressed Sayaka's gem to her lips and kissed it, trying to give herself some form of comfort. Sayaka suddenly shuddered. Madoka opened her eyes again, blinking away the tears.

Sayaka's face was flushed. Her breaths had turned into an aroused pant. "Okay… Maybe I just wasn't feeling it earlier…" Madoka tilted her head, curious. Sayaka didn't see her kiss the gem. She crawled over to Madoka again. "Sorry for scaring you… I think I was just letting my fears get the best of me." She brushed Madoka's bangs. "Did you want to continue?"

Madoka wiped her eyes and nodded. "If you don't mind! But, um… Can I hang on to your soul gem while we do? It makes me feel safe…"

Sayaka cocked an eyebrow. "Well, I guess that's okay… Just be careful with it."

Madoka smiled reassuringly. Sayaka grappled with Madoka once more, burying her nose into her neck. Madoka murmured, gripping her girlfriend's hair with one hand. While she did, she raised Sayaka's gem to her lips and gave it a long, seductive lick.

Sure enough, Sayaka quivered, letting out a long moan right into Madoka. It felt good, the sound waves vibrating through her. Sayaka couldn't explain the sensations she was having herself; with each kiss and lick Madoka gave, she felt a wave of stimulus rattle her core with erotic sensations. She didn't stop to question the sensation, just accepted it.

Madoka began to suck gently on the tip of Sayaka's soul gem. This was almost too much for Sayaka, whose face had become flushed red. She shuddered, having to pull back, as she noticed Madoka holding the soul gem to her lips.

"M-madoka! S-stop!" she gasped. Madoka paused briefly. "J-just… give me a minute…" She was panting hard.

Madoka eyed Sayaka innocently, then stifled a giggle. "I think you might be the sensitive one, Sayaka-chan."

Sayaka grinned at her, calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence as she crawled back, sliding her hand up Madoka's side. "Is that a challenge?"

Madoka squirmed as Sayaka touched her. She lowered her head once more, this time with her eyes up, watching Madoka as she nipped at her sholder. The pink-haired girl wriggled, but still put the soul gem back to her lips and tongue. Sayaka welcomed the sensations this time, squirming as well, yet was determined to keep working at Madoka.

Whenever one would moan, the other would feel it as well. They traded these moans deep into the night.


End file.
